By Cynti Oshin
Director Client Services/Business Development
Yesterday a man died. He jumped from the tenth floor of Seattle’s Fairmont Hotel. It was one block away from our office. Around two in the afternoon, we heard sirens, lots of them. People started to check in to find out what was going on in our neighborhood. And then we heard. A man, clearly so despairing that there seemed to be no option out, jumped and fell to his death in the middle of University Avenue just feet away from Fourth Avenue. I can’t stop thinking about this.
It has helped me to remember some pretty critical things. What we do on a daily basis is neither saving a life nor finding a peace process. It is not brain surgery or designing buildings to withstand 9.0 earthquakes and resulting tsunamis. It is important that we understand our role in the bigger picture of life. When an issue arises at work, it is doable. It is fixable. It is not the end of the world.
It has helped to me refocus on what it means to live a ‘sustainable’ life. How do we balance work, play, family, community. Or how do the four meld into one. How our work can serve our community. How family life can actually be play. And play can be our work.
I can’t shake what happened yesterday at Fourth and University and the fact that a man decided he had no other option than to end it all. It has forced me to reflect on whether I am able to truly listen to my colleagues, clients, friends and family. When we get lost in the vagaries of our everyday work environment – discussing marketing strategies, building media plans, designing advertising campaigns, managing expectations – are we truly listening to each other? Are we hearing an anxious edge in one another’s voice? Can we hear what’s really going on?
Don’t know the man. Don’t know his story. But my heart breaks for him and for his family and loved ones. I am so very sorry for his pain and for their loss.
Posts
Thank you for this post, Cynti. I work in this hustle-bustle, exciting and challenging PR industry also, but your post really speaks to me because I am a survior of suicide loss. It is such a tragic and life shattering loss that those family and friends left behind call ourselves "survivors." A person dies by suicide about every 15 minutes in the US, thats more than 34,000 people every year. But these statistics don't have much impact until you know one the "numbers." It's a world health epidemic that is only getting worse. Thank you for speaking to this issue - with compassion! Learn more about warning signs, prevention, etc. at www.afsp.org. Sincerely, @ErinSchwantner
ReplyDeleteIsn't it strange that a seemingly unrelated event can trigger such powerful emotions to remind us of how important it is to not let life get in the ways of our hopes and dreams and unfilled bucket lists. I love the Tim McGraw song "Live like you were dying". The lyrics are wonderful - I became the kind of friend a friend should be, etc. My heart goes out to his family as well, but this reminds me that I give to give more of my heart to my family. Thanks, Cynti.
ReplyDeleteErin and Don,
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome. Erin, I am so sorry for your 'loss' and am grateful that you were willing to share so authentically. And Don, it is remarkable how these events can impact us in seemingly unconnected ways. And yet, to paraphrase Mark Twain - tug on anything and see it is connected to something else.
I'm sorry guys but as someone who's seen first hand a family member fighting everyday to live while having indescribable pain of bone cancer and not having any choice, as well as then having someone close commit the ultimate selfish and cowardly act of suicide. This is so maddening This man had a choice and he chose to take the easy way out with no regard for his family, the people who had to witness him doing this, the people who work hard at the fairmont, the cab drivers who are outside at that very spot etc. What if children had been outside to witness it? What if He landed on someone in the crosswalk? This was his choice to end his life and now he has effected more than just himself. I also work in advertising and work across the street and while your sentiment about people listening to each other, giving more to your family, friends and coworkers is the "good side" of what's happened, get over yourselves, this really isn't anything more than a selfish man leaving his friends and family asking why?
ReplyDeleteYou ask some really good questions. The notion of the collateral damage is not lost on me. Can both perspectives live in the same space? That of what we do in this business pales in comparison to people ending their life outside of our office windows? And that of his act can leave lasting trauma for those simply caught in his shadow?
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your perspectives. I was there to witness this as well. During a late lunch on a beautiful day, we saw something...heard something...and slowly watched in confusion and shock as we slowly realized what was happening. I am now back on the East Coast (was visiting for a conference) and I remain haunted and humbled by what happened and by the what-ifs. Yes, Cynti, I think there must be room for all these perspectives to exist in the same space -- I know they all exist *within* me, so they must likewise exist between and among us. His choice leaves lasting trauma for his loved ones and for the stangers who happened to share that time and that space on Monday afternoon. I was just visiting -winding down from a working weekend - and flew back east later than night. No amount of time or number of miles can distance me from what happened to all of us who -- for whatever reasons -- happened to be there. Thanks, Cynti, for creating a space to connect with some of those people -even from afar.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful to those of you willing to enter into this 'space' and engage in a conversation. And to the author of the last post, it is such an enormous and small world all at once, yes? That someone sitting in his office on the East Coast shared a very tragic experience with so many others who will never know one another.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous #2 here, in her office on the East Coast. Even more improbable my colleague - another 'she' was with me at lunch on Seattle on Monday, and is now in her office next to mine back east. I am grateful (for both our sakes) that we were together, and that someone who is *here* understands what happened *there*.
ReplyDeleteCynti, you captured the smallness of the world perfectly. In a bizarre twist of something I would prefer not to call fate, exactly, this is two suicides by jumping, within 50 yards of me, within two weeks (SEA being the second). I did not witness the first as I did in Seattle, but I did witness the aftermath (police, yellow tape, medical examiner...) from my porch. Small world indeed...bit off its axis of late. Thanks again, Cynti and all who have spoken up here.